Holy Shit it's a Christmas Miracle

I'm tired. I have nothing to say. But... I'm here.
Happy Holidays peeps of the blahgosphere and peeps of my former blahging life!



Photo from: www.mykindoftown.com/christmas_tour.html

Dang, ya'll.

I just started to talk to ya'll in my head again (yeh, I know you do it too, so no judging), and here I am to say hi. I am a little distraught by Stephen's message that he has a stalker. Fucking stalkers. At least in the same breath practically I got this link from Meno that cheered me up a bit:

From: http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2245

It's good to know I'm not alone in the world.
Ages ago, eons ago, like back in June, I did a meme that I got off of The Pink Shoe and then I forgot to post it. I know. That's how/where my head is these days.

Here are the rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

And here are my results:

I like it, it's beeootiful.

Cookie Fortunes

Image by Natalie Dee

We ordered out the first good Chinese food we've had in years outside of Chinatown.  We were starting to think that American Chinese food just sucked.  We must have ordered a lot because the two of us got three fortune cookies each.  I got excellent fortunes for once, and seemingly relevant to me of course too.  Here they are:

"Your fastidious nature has much more fun this year!"

"Keep true to the dreams of your youth."

"With a little more hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights!"

Normally, the middle one would propel me to yell out, "THAT'S NOT A FORTUNE, THAT'S A STATEMENT!" but in this case I liked it, so I bit my tongue.  Funny that.

Um, stress much?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the mountain in front of you?

Do you ever wake up with your fingers and toes clenched?

Do you ever have to do it alone even though you have a partner?

Do you ever feel like you might vomit when you think about how much you have to do?

Do you ever wonder how you'll survive the first part, let alone the middle and the end?

I do.

Cardinal Rules

This morning a cardinal hung out on my fire escape, sat on my windowsill looking at me, and then perched on a telephone wire and chirped at me for a while. Either he is in love with me or I annoy him. It is a fine line.

Blogger Life

Photograph by Elinor Carucci, The New York Times

This article was published in The New York Times Sunday Magazine two weekends ago. It is written by Emily Gould, a New York blogger who's life became painfully public. She writes about her experience as a blogger and she reflects on her experience and her feelings about blogging now. Yesterday after a discussion with my husband about how I was feeling about blogging, he recommended that I read it. I thought you might like to read it too.

After all this time...

I don't even know where to start. I have decided to attempt to come back to my blahg. Believe it or not, I've done a lot of internet-soul-searching, and I decided that if I could make myself a little more anonymous and thus, a little more impersonal, I might just be able to come back. I've thought a lot about why I stopped, and why I blogged in the first place. I don't know exactly why I stopped because it was an incremental progression, my desire simply diminished over time. Things weren't the same after I went anonymous, I felt less connected and my emotional relationship to my beloved blogosphere had changed dramatically. I can however, link the end of my posting to one night in NYC when I got introduced in a bar as "the Cat's Me'Ass" and someone I didn't know, and had never heard of, not even on the blogosphere exclaimed, "You are The Cat's Me'Ass??" I simultaneously felt delight that he knew about my blog and felt dread that the gig was up. I was kidding myself if I thought I was anonymous. The reality of it was that the fucker who scared me into anonymity in the first place could find me if he really wanted to. So, I just finished going through my archives and deleted and edited a bunch of posts that contained more personal information, and here I am months later dipping my toe in the water so to speak. Why am I here? Even though some of my best blog friends have deleted their blogs or stopped updating them altogether, there are still some of you out there who I've followed since the beginning (four years ago!). Even though Facebook has come, and practically gone, you are still here pouring thoughts out into this global network. For whatever reason, the act of blogging (sharing? connecting? venting?) is important to me. Even if I'm posting about superficial shit, that is my voice in/out there. My internal "voice" expressing itself to anyone who wants to read it, but more importantly, to more than just itself. For someone who has been told she thinks and feels too much, there might be a fundamental need to find a place for all those extra feelings and thoughts that real-life people don't want to hear or know about. Maybe that place is here.

I'm a Wrigley's Woman

Has anyone seen this? This is the best fucking packaging I have seen in a while. I bought this at Duane Reade the other day just because of the packaging. The experience of opening it is a little like opening cigarettes. As a non-smoker I've always longed for the feeling of pulling out my smokes in an awkward situation, and now I can open my Wrigley's Cobalt 5 and fold a piece into my mouth whenever I feel a little unsettled by my surroundings. The design follows through to the inside where the gum wrappers are a fucking awesome shade of shiny blue. The flavor lasts a long time too. If only my TMJ didn't stop me from chewing it so much.